cosmic stripper specializing in dry wall, constantly unsupervised.

Quantico, VA
Joined July 2015
when i hit $25.00 right on the nose at the gas pump
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
RETWEET by Monday, January 24 for a chance to win this sealed pack of #StrangerThings: WELCOME TO THE UPSIDE DOWN trading cards from @Topps! I'll pick one winner and announce next week. Good luck!
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
An absolutely beautiful view of the northern lights!!
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
I have not laughed this hard before 8am ever, not even once in my life
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
Impossible to describe this scene from Dallas City Council this morning but I’m begging you to click, you will not regret it
Everton Bailey Jr.
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Ja Morant, Most Improved Player (MIP) leader in my book same minutes/per game as last year. so far: .485% (+.016) FG .400% (+.097) 3PT 5.7 Rebs/game (+1.7) 3 more shots per game, 5 more points per game improved to .684% at the rim .521% < 3 minutes in the game (.392 last yr
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
Huh?? 🀣 🀣 🀣 🀣 🀣
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
Betty White on her favorite hobbies while on David Letterman.
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
They’re going to gather all the local unfuckable men in one place. πŸ€”
This is the CRINGIEST thing I have ever seen
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
landlord: the cost of rent has gone up businesses: that’s a natural part of doing business suppliers: the cost of materials has gone up businesses: that’s a natural part of doing business worker: the cost of my labor has gone up businesses: listen here you little shit
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
The most important thing I’ve learned from film Twitter is you shouldn’t make movies about anything.
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
My brother put his gift for my sister’s 2 year old in this box
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First in my family to get a college degree. Getting a BA in Philosophy made me the first family member to get laughed at for their college degree.
Flex here. I’ll go first. I won the first ever ESPY β€˜Play of the Year’.
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
Giving me $150,000 for a PhD in creative writing was the government's own poor choice and if I pay them back they'll never learn personal responsibility
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
reverse cowgirl so we can both watch a muppet christmas carol
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
It’s #SantaPawsDay - the day all our dogs get to pick their Christmas gift! Sadly, we couldn’t fit them all in, but we hope the pure joy of the ones we did makes you smile! To all our supporters and everyone who sent a gift, thank you! We hope you have a very Merry Christmas! πŸ’›
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Contagion is a Christmas movie
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linus van pelterbomb 🐚🐚🐚 retweeted
a romantic book
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