Jokes by John Hartzell. He/him.

Joined September 2016
Just when you think the Republican Party can't sink any lower, it's the next day.
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The Second Amendment was written at a time when "assault weapon" meant you had attached a bayonet.
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"It takes a good guy with a gun to lock a bad guy with a gun in a classroom full of children" just isn't as catchy.
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According to the Republican Party, gun violence is caused by mental illness, video games, rap lyrics, unarmed teachers, unarmed students, high gas prices, gay marriage, teenage activists, critical race theory, unicorn farts, Hunter Biden, and literally anything other than guns.
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Don't expect the party that voted for this guy twice to be shamed into doing the right thing.
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Republicans pass more legislation to keep trans kids out of restrooms than shooters out of schools.
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Why are the people most convinced that God will protect them also the ones with the most guns?
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We call them mass shootings. The NRA calls them product demos.
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Instead of worrying about declining birth rates, why don't we just do a better job protecting the children we already have?
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Every child who shoots another child gets the idea from an adult.
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During a school shooting, children hide under their desks. After a school shooting, Republicans hide under theirs.
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Common sense gun laws aren't a violation of civil rights. Being shot is.
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The Republican Party works harder to keep books out of schools than guns.
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Republicans are complaining about declining birth rates after making America a place where nobody in their right mind would want to raise a child.
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The same people who cheered when Donald Trump drove the boat onto the rocks are blaming Joe Biden for holes in the hull.
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Ironically, a driverless car is the perfect metaphor for Elon Musk.
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Dear Mom, The Second Civil War is over. General Ted Nugent surrendered at the Chick-fil-A in Huntsville, Alabama. I'm pretty sure he shit his pants.
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During her time in the White House, Kellyanne Conway lied, misled, distorted, obfuscated, flip-flopped, lied about flip-flopping, flip-flopped about lying, fabricated, misinformed, misrepresented, unhinged her jaw and spewed lies like a fire hose, and fibbed.
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When racists say "I have Black friends," they mean Herschel Walker.
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Elon Musk was born with a silver head up his ass.
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